Archive for the ‘best of the rest’ Category

Gold Digging Wench Heather Mills

March 20, 2008

heath460

Where would you get a job that would involve you getting paid £700 an HOUR – tax free? To say you have to work at a marriage is completely different (i would imagine) to actually working FOR a marriage. This is what Heather Mills claims, she was his personal manager, confident, de stressed Paul McCartney and helped him get over the grief of losing his ex-wife. Surely that might be your job though? Supporting your husband in everything that he does ? As he would for you?

It’s not even the gold digger aspect that annoys me about all this, it’s the great lengths that she has gone to rally and get the public behind her. She turned up at every press opportunity to bad-mouth Sir Paul to anyone who would listen and then when it seemed the Brittish public hadn’t taken the bait and turned on her and said enough is enough, she runs to the US to drag him through the dirt across the big pond.

She has landed herself with more money now that she could imagine or have ever hoped to accumulate in a lifetime and yet she wanted more and just hides behind her daughter. Just becuase some one does charity work doesn’t mean they are someone we should admire and look up to.

“I am driven to the conclusion that much of her evidence, both written and oral, was not just inconsistent and inaccurate but also less than candid,” the judge in the divorce, Mr Justice Bennett, ruled. “Overall, she was a less than impressive witness.”

- Mr Justice Bennett

Overall, to me, she is a less than impressive human being.

The Guardians piece about it is a must read. Also the ruling that the judge made (PDF) is a good read in parts.

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Machine Gun doubles as Flash Light

March 10, 2008

 

It’s scarey what these yanks think up. It’s a flashlight , no its a machine gun, but wait isn’t it a flashlight? BAM – Dead.

 

Its nasty, gets down to business, FMG9

 

Axxo returns!

March 10, 2008

 

jumpingforjoy

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Vantage Point

March 10, 2008

vantage point movie poster

Caught this film on Saturday night last in UCI Coolock. Had been looking forward to it since seeing the trailer before christmas. Anything to do with snipers has me quids in from the start, that and the fact that Mathew Fox has a lead role in it made so Mrs Ben is also looked after.

The film is about the events that lead up to the assasination of the US President while he is attending a summit on anti-terrorism. I say lead up due to the fact that it doesn’t really follow on from that point and finishes with a fizzle rather than a bang. It shows the run up to the assasination from diferent *ahem* Vantage Points, the TV crew, a bent cop, the Secret Service and the president himself.

The film gets annoying with the constant rewinds and double up on dialog. Then thrown in are completely pointless characters for no purpose and once the film tries to develop the characters it just seems to rewind and start from scratch again.

The ending is weak and just not believable. The best bit about this film is the trailer, but i can safely say once you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve seen the film. The film’s rewind and rewind approach will have you annoyed and it’s one of those films that the whole cinema will sigh out in annoyance!

 

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A trip to the Barbers and an erotic interlude

March 4, 2008

sexyhairdresser

Not the norm for me but thought i’d scribble about it anyway! I rarely go to the barbers, ok i get my hair cut but I’m pretty handy once equipped with a sheers and a mirror (who isn’t). So i bail off a meeting early today and am doin’ some out of office work and i see there’s a new barbers in Swords with a bit sign in the window “6 Euro Monday & Tuesdays”. I’m like ‘ok – quids in’.

In i walk to find Selma Hayek and what looked to be her equally hot mother pottering away so i park my bum and wonder did i bring a bunch of sweaty 1 dollar bills, cause it smells like that kinda place! They are stunning, not big on conversation it would seem and are eastern european. Never one for talking so it so far so good. (hope i get the daughter)

So the younger cindy crawford beckons me to the chair so im delighted.

“What would youuuu laiick ser?”

And knowing full well i can’t use any of my razzle dazzle one liners i settle for a :

“4 back and sides please..”

But thank god as i barely managed to spit out that!

Now i let her go to work and to be honest i thought up a certain point she was doing a really shit job but i didn’t care as there was a lot of scalp massaging etc going on. Idle conversation about the weather is out so i sit back and enjoy, well mostly just stare at the floor as much as i know i’ve gone a bit red in the cheeks.

Coming to the finishing parts now and shes trimming the side burns and i’m imagining her hoovering naked when all of a sudden shes rubbing behind both my ears at the same time and im like
“niiiiceeeee”

To remove the hair from around my ears she ACTUALLY leaned over and blew in my ear, shame i twitched a bit erratically so it probably appeared like i was gonna head butt her so she only did the one ear.
What followed was a lot of bending over and underwear revealing that no one wants to hear about, but here i am sitting thinkin’

“Do i actually give a shit about how my hair looks right now?”

Truth. Nope.

I’m feeling used and thirsty from all the slober thats run down my front. So it’s time to leave and i just hand her my wallet and say “Whatever just take what you think is right..”

“Gooood bye surrr”

And like that i’m kicked onto a windy nippy swords main street feeling violated but strangely smirky!

Onto the gym and i’m reassured when Mrs Ben rubs the new addition and proclaims,

“Oh thats a real nice cut”

Like i know what that means! But we’re on the treadmill and im telling her the details and she’s throwing me the stiff one. And all that’s going through my head is …

“I wonder how much it is to get a wash, blow dry, cut and whatever else…”

But I didn’t. I’m not That stupid.

I do, erm Now I Don’t.com

March 3, 2008

makethumb.php

Hmm a site that see’s that there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, that every cloud does infact have a silver and plantinum lining! Site’s like this make me sad. I wish i had’ve found it around Valentines day thought – darnit!
Basically put, you save up the x3.5 your monthly wage. Buy the ring. Think of how to propose. Fly her to Paris. Que to go up the Eifell Tower. Ask the question your so nervous about. She says no. SHIT. But what does one do with the expensive bit of coal you have in your póca?

A site that matches people who are looking to sell engagement rings they no longer need or want with buyers who are in the market for a great deal. A home for people to share their relationship disasters or successes, vent about their ex’s or rave about their newly single sex, provide tips on surviving a breakup or tips on how to do the breaking up and much, much more.

Good rule of thumb when buying 6 grand worth of diamond rings off the t’interweb. Go to a site that doesn’t offer a free ipod OR run Google Ads eh :)

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Would you fit this on your iPod?

February 22, 2008

20080220sm record1 500

What claims to be ‘The World’s Greatest Music Collection’ has been sold on ebay for what is reported as US $3,002,150.00! But looking at the bids from people it seems that the difference in the bids was a mere 50 dollars, but why oh why would some fucking eejit person who is willing to pay that much money for a few cd’s not outbid someone by , hmm say a million?

1. $3million is a ridiculously low price to start with. The owner of the collection has turned down offers for far more over the years, including an offer of $28million nine years ago. It’s being sold this way now because his life circumstances have changed.

What muppet would actually turn down 28 million dollars for cd’s and records that he will never probably re-use ever and what personal “circumstances” would then dictate you have to sell them for 25 Million less? I rekcon his old lady got wind of why he spent so long down the basment and wanted a piece of the action. This ladies and gent’s again is why Music is the root of all evil!

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Worst Food in America #1

February 21, 2008

cheesefries

2,900 calories
182 g fat 240 g carbs

Even if you split this “starter” with three friends, you’ll have downed a dinner’s worth of calories before your entree arrives. Follow this up with a steak, sides, and a dessert and you could easily break the 3,500 calorie barrier.

I don’t care that they’re the devils work, they look gorgeous…

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Monday Morning from Hell

February 21, 2008

bombtechnician

 

So you thought you’ve had bad Monday mornings huh? You wake up restless and unsteady on your feet, you clamber into the work area to meet a couple of your work buddies beside the water cooler, ya tell them some crazy dream you had about a bomb in the office and just as you go to talk about how the food’s been well dodge in the canteen this week your interupted by the general alarm sounding and people running around like lemmings on ecstasy!!
A reality if your the 23 year old lady working on the North Sea Oil Rig!

..the scare started when a woman employee on the rig was overheard recalling a dream she had had about a bomb on the platform.
… the alarm was raised at about 9.15am when a member of crew on board the Safe Scandinavia, a flotel stationed next to a rig 190 miles north-east of Aberdeen, said there could be a suspicious device on board.

Within minutes emergency procedures swung into action and the block was evacuated, with about 500 people crossing the gantry linking it to the oil rig. A search of the platform began and army bomb squad officers were put on standby.

If ever there was a time when you just wanna start looking up loadzajobs.ie, this is it. The girl was taken to court over causing the panic and was pretty much the talk of the back of the jacks door later that week!

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Happy erm Belated Valentines!

February 15, 2008

hoff

I’m still a bit behind time wise so let me wish ya’ll a belated Valentines Day! Hope it wasn’t too much of a struggle to get to the door for all the cards and balloons and string quartets!

 


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