If you haven’t seen this doing the rounds. Brace yourself. Put anything that could spill down.
So much stuff in this that is quoteworthy of a Saturday night.
Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
Why do you ride Hippos?
April 29, 2009No love lost.
April 28, 2009‘Out to get the bargains I see…’ I said acknowledging a very familiar face in the freezer isle of ALDI’s.
Meeting someone in this kind of situation can really go one of two ways. The less ashamed laugh it off and crack a joke, I mean lets face it, it’s the only shop you can buy a 9 foot dinghy and a welding mask with a pepperoni pizza. The other way can only be described as when you bump into your primary school teacher loitering around the World Cinema and Adult section that they used to have Chartbusters.
This has been the later.
‘Eh yeah, the flyer fell out of the Sunday Business Post and I thought I might pop in to see what the big fuss was about ya know…’
I just nod, I’ve seen the bunch of previously bought freezer and shopping bags with ALDI all over them that he bought on his last visit stashed in the bottom of the trolley. Then I hear the unmistaken clatter of the high heels behind him as the mutton dressed as lamb comes into view trying to balance out the stack of assorted frozen foods boxes with her very fake Louis Vitton in the other.
‘oh, eh, hi Ben, how are you…’
The girl should rediscover the wonder of eating Ryvita for a couple weeks I’m thinking as I thank God and how ever many apostles there were for giving me the foresight and wisdom of getting out of that one….
‘hey there….Stephen was just telling me you have him lumbered here to do the shopping…’ landing the thick fucker in it and he knows it.
‘Yeah we come up every Sunday just to pick up the little bits and bobs ya know yourself, they have a very good range of stuff especially in the healthy living range….’
She’s just made a liar out of both of them in one sentence. But I’ve already decided I’m gonna ruin his afternoon anyways.
‘Yeah I’m here for the healthy living range of beer myself…’ making the drinking motion with my hand
He’s had the good grace to look elsewhere and is leaning on the trolley like a 12 year old child that is about to fall asleep. I’d say if he was allowed he’d have opened up a pack of biscuits and start eating them out of the trolley.
‘Oh actually…’ I say with a grin… ‘they actually have that wine you like here’… he’s looking at me now… ‘ya know the one we got in Rome that time and we spent an age looking for it when we got home…’
She can’t decide whether to take a trip down memory lane or feel uncomfortable yet.
‘Sure she’s off the drink now anyways…’ He’s two seconds short of beating his chest.
‘Stephen…. It’s not like I’m pregnant or anything…’ she playfully slaps his arm but keeping eye contact with me.
‘I wouldn’t have thought that for a second’ – I lie. Her gym membership must have elapsed.
I don’t know whether he knows it or not but he’s sucked his teeth twice in the past twenty seconds. With this awkward silence I’ve decided I’m going to slip off before she tries to drag information out of me or he assaults me with a pack of BBQ Skewers within arms reach.
‘I’ll be seeing ya’s anyways…’ I have unconsciously thrown her a wink when I said this
‘oh yeah Ben, was eh nice to see you…’
I’m only feet away when I hear them start. ‘But babe you know I don’t even drink wine…’
It’s the little victories in life really.
Sticker FAIL
April 24, 2009
Twitter is the new staying in…
February 13, 2009
You know you are big time when the local paper (Fingal Independent) run a piece about a local band signing up to Twitter!
I thought I would blog this purely for the fact that twitter had made the local rag er press. I don’t really care too much for the band or their music but sure at least the times are a moving and this little thing called the internet is catching on eh. . .
But in saying that, when I Googled them so I could put a link to their site up all I got was a Wikipedia page. Nuff said.
An ode to a Nut
February 5, 2009
‘Gimmie a hand with this blog post Benny….and sure fuck it pick me up some smokes…I’ll have the coffee on’
‘yeah mate, no worries wha…’
A normal conversation between two well acquainted friends you might say, hardly someone you met the once the night before, witnessed getting paralytic drunk and headbutting a DJ’s turntables on his way out the door, but this is Peter Donegan and this is just for showmanship one might add.
I’m in a state of undress at this stage, my mouth is as dry as a well cooked findus crispy pancake, I don’t know why I answered the phone in the first place, he frightens me, he talks quicker than me.
We’re sitting, the old fire in his office is throwing out some heat and the dog is curled at my feet and Peter is lepping around and waving his hands and arms about. He has one cigarette lit and in his mouth and one burning away in the ashtray….
‘You know what I mean Benny, like if the caterpillar wants to turn into a swan , I say let the fucker fly! You know wha I’m saying?…’
What can you do but nod?
‘….just to put it in context, we were sitting there havin the few Scooby doo’s right …’
Is he still on the same story? What?
‘…and as much as the fella has the gammy leg is as long as the day is honest ya know….’
Am I still drunk?
‘…do ya wanna see me photos from Electric Picnic with the dwarf I was telling you about the other night….’
Why is he drinking more coffee? This fucker is as high as a kite!
‘…Templeogue? …..some beautiful trees out that way benny…..’
I’m getting dizzy.
‘….sure fuckin pass me that guitar there….we’ll have it singing in no time…’
He does landscaping. He does quality control for Guinness (mostly in the Kettles Inn). He does music. He does Spandex. He never does quiet. He loves photos. He loves BIG mellons. He also likes cocks.
Peter in motion
and eh , just to put it in context yeah….
Donegan Landscaping |@PeterD| Ballyboughal.net (cause he’s home proud)
‘what the world needs yeah benny, are you listening benny? yeah ok , what the world needs right, is a bit more fuckin context!’
Peter Donegan esq.
Today
January 25, 2009Please, remember me
Finally
And all my uphill clawing
My dear
But if i make
The pearly gates
Do my best to make a drawing
Of God and Lucifer
A boy and girl
An angel kissin on a sinner
A monkey and a man
A marching band
All around the frightened trapeze swingers
Everyday Normal Crew
January 24, 2009It came from this Channel. WATCH!
Teen Camp Ireland
January 21, 2009
The very first Teen Camp Ireland was held last Saturday in Filmbase in Temple Bar. Organised by Alan Costello and Enda Crowley, it was put together to enable teenage users of the web to get together to discuss technology and of course to make new friends and network amongst each other.
Everyone got the chance to introduce themselves, however as i was running almost 2 hours late (having lost 20 smokes and being drenched in the downpour!) i had missed this part of the day. After the introductions and some great talks they broke for lunch and what followed afterwards was a great discussion about Blogging and why and what blogs you read.
Mulley had posted up some of the talks from the day including my one
Over all, some people do know my feelings on these ‘networking’ events but i have to say i was very impressed by how this was put together and the turn out on the day. Events like these are very important and especially to the likes of the younger age bracket that might slightly feel like a fish out of water at some of the larger events.
Some of the links of the day!
Stephen has some of the photos of the day.
Teen Camp Ireland’s Blog – Check for future upcoming events!
Will has a round up of the day
Irish Times have a piece about it
The amount of talented guys and girls not much younger than me is scarey! I seriously will be working for you guys in the near future! Be sure to spread the word for future events!
It was great to see some known faces and make the acquaintance of some new ones too! Looking forward to seeing you all at the Irish Blog Awards and at future Teen Camp events where it’ rumoured that Damien is to give a talk in ‘Cyber Stalking – Make it work *FOR* You!’
Oh and before you think this post is FAR too serious….this is what Teen Camp Ireland really was all about for me….
*staged . . of course* 
Kung Fu Brit
January 14, 2009I Trust Tommy
November 28, 2008
I Trust Tommy, but I guess you already knew that!
